A: A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. See all one liners sorted from the best by visitors like you. When I play rock, paper, scissors, people think I always choose scissors. Stop the violence. Smith: No, My Lord. He appeared to be doing reasonably well until the shop's owner took the stand to give his evidence. Smith: That is the mistake I made in the Court below, My Lord. A committee is twelve men doing the work of one. Enjoy. How many tennis players does it take to change a light bulb? He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Never lick the spoon. I am attempting to conceal it. Search in the largest collection of one liners and puns, We use cookies for analytics, advertising and to improve user experience. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain. One liner tags: life , people It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Master of the Rolls: Really, Mr Smith, do give this Court credit for some little intelligence. They're wrong. Do you know a funny one liner? The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail and if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence. In his wisdom he decided that he would represent himself in court. To find out more see our. None, because they all say, “What do … Everybody loves success, but they hate successful people. When you go into court, you are putting your fate into the hands of people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. You agree by closing this box or continuing to use our site. See TOP 10 insults one liners. I've known Mr. Johnson since he was a youngster, too. Alcoholics and addicts are the only people who can look down on you from the gutter. When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty. Funny one-liner #103 When you go into court, you are putting your fate into the hands of people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. Bond has been quipping since 1962, so we thought we'd compile our favorite (and what we think are the best) one-liners into one video. A new poll suggests that most people will likely finish reading any sentence that starts with "A new poll suggests.". Q: What is the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull? Quick, Short, Funny Court Appearance Jerry Bartle was arrested and put on trial for robbing a local shop at gunpoint. Judge: Are you trying to show contempt for this court, Mr Smith. A: Lipstick Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. All sorted from the best by our visitors. A: Lawyer's don't think they're funny, and no one else thinks they're jokes. Yes, I know … (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); (1923 – 2007) American novelist, journalist & playwright, (1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist, (1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist, (1872 – 1930) British statesman, politician & lawyer. Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly. A good lawyer can make it last even longer. In the halls of justice, the only justice is in the halls. Smith: That is the mistake I made in the Court below, My Lord. Master of the Rolls: Really, Mr Smith, do give this Court credit for some little intelligence. Add your one liner to our site and see how good it is. The largest collection of insults one-line jokes in the world. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too. I'm actually flashing a peace sign. A bad lawyer can drag a case out for several years. What is the most important thing to learn in chemistry?

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